A Different Shade of Blue

Believe me, I’d like to be more confident
If only it was as easy as flipping a switch
But when everyone looks at me like I’m crazy
I find it pointless to share a word
Why speak a single syllable?
I say it’s easier to write things down
But is that just an excuse?
I can tell from the look in your eye
That there is something wrong with me
But you see, I don’t feel wrong
Yes I know I’m an outsider
It does feel okay most of the time
It’s just sometimes…
I wish I didn’t feel so alone
but saying that just opens me up to shallow sympathies
So I swallow my thoughts and then dump them on a page
Thank you to the trees that died for me

Silently, I do think there’s too much talking
And no one is really saying anything
There’s too much noise, this world is too loud
I don’t belong, I don’t want to scream and fight with anyone
Is the silent road, the high road?
I see anger as an all consuming fire
And it’s done burning me alive
I don’t have any appetite for wine
With or without the letter H

As the years turn and burn away
I’m left with a lot
As the years pass I see I’m less and less
Like my parents
As the years flutter and fly away
These blood ties feel more and more like a noose
As the years flee and fade
I feel as though I’m growing too slowly
As the years are carried away from me
I see the color of my eyes dull

Time well spent is water that quenches my thirst
and often I spend it like I have an endless supply
Those results are not the best
but the subtle shade of blue in my eyes says
The good does out weigh the poor
and I’m richer than I was a year ago

Thoughts?

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