Would it be so bad to swallow the shards?
Would I even feel the blood run down my throat?
I’m the one making this hard
and I’m the one keeping myself afloat
Two hands, two ways to go and I don’t have to dwell in this rut
I am all in day to day, does any choice leave the door shut?

I’ve taken the space between in and dependence
and put it to better use
It’s strange stepping off of the fence
I feel better and I see how much I have to lose
I have to remind myself that I’m not the only one
Finding it difficult to forget the damage already done

What if the fear of being left behind is false
and we’ve just taken a wrong turn?
It’s difficult when I want to run and the truth crawls
but I’m giving myself space to grow and learn
My mistakes never lacked direction
I just struggle with the appreciation

In my mind it’s like I’ve reached a clearing
I’ve taken hold of flaws and begun engineering
and the sounds beckon from below, I am hearing
Though sometimes it’s difficult to pay attention
Sometimes it feels like I’ve put myself on suspension
but no this is something else, this is reinvention
With so much underlying tension
I know the grass isn’t as green as it could be
but I’m not blind to how far I’ve come, I can see
It’s all right here, surrounding me
The image of what I could be, what I have been
Fading silhouettes staring in chagrin
but they don’t understand all that I hold within
Perhaps that’s part of it, I hold
and I put too much weight in what I’m told
Sometimes I think I should let myself fold
Then again I’ve done things for all them before
and look where it got me: addicted and sore
Until I decided to stare into the mirror and explore…

I’m starting to think no one can ever be truly independent
It’s simply the human wanting and wishing to be ascendant


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