Sun-Dried Earthworms and Vicious Sandstorms

He sat with his eyes upward, scanning the sky
The brightest of the bright called to him
and he replied with a wish
His sincerity impacted the light
The star blinked as if it heard him
A flash, and he watched it fall from view
The ground shook with a reverberating shock wave
His eyes welled and his heart shattered
The sky was torn apart as his tears trickled
A calming chaos instilling a deep sleep
He fell to sleep as the world itself fell
and neither would ever properly rise again

* * *

After all these months
I now see it all as a mistake
They always told me, “Be careful what you wish for.”
I don’t know how I survived
While the flesh of this world was melted away
Now the black on these windows is fading
and I’m here talking to myself
True loneliness, that is me
I never really liked many but now
I am actually craving companionship
The problem with my current kind of conversation is
I know the replies before they are released
I long for a true debate
With actual well thought out counters
but no, I am stuck here banging on table tops
and cursing this new kind of melting
Darkness is giving way once again
and my skin crawls because it is terrified

I know that this is all… punishment
I got what I wanted
but now, I want something else
Though look what wishing got me last time.
I begged the dark night sky
and condemned the holes that are full of light
LOOK AT ME NOW!
It is the same
Except the light is coming for me.

“WHO’S THERE!?”
My heart skips a beat
“LET ME IN. My skin is burning.”
Could it be? Every wish comes true for me…
I open the door to see a man,
His dark trench coat smoldering
We talked for what seemed like days
Only stopping to gather up everything
The enemy beamed through the blackened windows
My safe haven, slowly becoming dangerous

“I saw a building further out.
We might be able to make it, if we move quick.”
So we can’t bring everything then?
How far do you think it is?
“Maybe a quarter mile west?
Didn’t look like there are many windows.
So we should be safe there.”

Out of the corner of my eye,
I see him smirk before we depart
A rather devious, unfriendly grin
but choices are hard to come by
I ruined that part of life
Hell, I destroyed life period.
We run through the wasteland of my design
Into a building I don’t remember noticing before
Our clothing ignited half way there
The ground feels like fire beneath every step
I slow to remove the flaming clothing
Unaware I am doing it until I stumble
and fall over the remains of a helpless soul
That died for MY selfish wish.
To my surprise, my new friend picks me up
and I return to these fragile feet
“Don’t give up! The end’s in sight!”
I’m too exhausted to chuckle at that odd choice of words
He bursts through the door into the promise of safety
and we find the deceitful darkness waiting for us
He bars the door shut and we split up
In search of whatever truth lives here
The truth within the darkness

A swift left then I make a rigid right
To the slightly ajar door at the end of the hall
It seems to shimmer and I hear a tiny voice
but not quite, only an inaudible whisper
I open the door to find myself
Face to face
With a man I haven’t seen in years
Or so it seems…
My reflection is no different than I remember
HOW COULD THIS BE?
but it’s strange, my face
Like it’s glowing under some fluorescent light
and it becomes crystal clear when she says,
“Here are your dailies, now swallow.
And let me see?”
As it all fades into view
and I am shown the truth,
I fall backwards into the darkness
The guilt from my wish returns
and I forget the truth once again.

If Stuffed Bears Could Talk…

Another passing glance
I am stuck in this stance
and none hear my voice
I need to be someone’s first choice
Isn’t this little white tee enough?
Perhaps my fur is too rough
but there has to be a child
that can save me from the wild
and keep me close
Not today, the panda was chose
Tired of all these empty eyes that look past
I know I am better than a fish trapped in glass
but apparently no one sees that
I would never harm, unlike an angry cat
When will it be my time?
When will I be the one to find?
The odd bell does not ring for me
Beyond the bright glare, I shall not see

A new day and I wake in a man’s hand
Please don’t put me down, please understand
That the words are true, Yours Forever
I’m a little teddy, I am not clever
“Yes you are coming home with me little guy.”
That last ring was for me, off to new skies!
“I just hope my son likes you.”
Movement, the bell rings and OH MY, LOOK AT THAT BLUE!
Ow! Why did he have to toss me like that?
I wish I could tell him this new-found fact
I love you for freeing me but you can’t sing
but a happy little boy is worth this suffering

“Look what your daddy bought you!”
The boy’s innocence is a light so true
and he takes me in close and tight
A big hug just for me, this is right
He mumbles something I can’t make out
HE GAVE ME A NAME!  THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT!
and in that moment I forget everything before
I am his forever, I have escaped that store
His tiny hand holding mine as we walk away
This is the perfect day

It doesn’t take long for my shirt to get dirty
but he takes care of me, he will never hurt me
As the days go by and his eyes change
He still comes to me despite his new love for planes
My friend tells me about everything
He wants to sprout wings
and fly far away from his parents
The happy house has become so unpleasant
but he feels better around his teddy
He grows older and older but we remain steady
The little boy becomes a teenager
and he finds himself chasing danger
Though he doesn’t see it that way
When he gets home we still have time to play
He tells me all about the dangerous ladies
and how his parents have turned into crazies

Years and years go by and he finds true love
He’s a romantic, he calls her his dove
and as things develop he tells me of his plans
That I shouldn’t worry, “Buddy, please understand
We aren’t over I just have to pass you along.
Soon you will have to keep my son strong.
You said that you are mine,
and you’ve always made sure I was fine
Now it’s time for you to shelter my son
The three of us will have so much fun
My friend, forever is far from done.”

Realizer Episode 3: Divided, Not Subsided

He knows and can almost see
There’s a fleeting reflection shown
within his blood, the feeling of mortality
A failed attempt to pick up the phone
Startled by the sound of fluttering wings
and now all of his fears fade away
The cards of fate, his life a tiny string
loosening, he envisions her as his memories replay

She is sprinting and her energy is running away
The dark streets become illuminated before her eyes
but not the usual welcoming glow
The alternating red and blue reflects on to her
The commotion and the sirens drown out her screams
She knows even without hearing the news
They try to comfort her
but there is no comfort without him
He always told her that she was his
She loved the way he said MINE
Though now the supports have folded
She feels buried, covered in coal
and the sun shall never be seen again
A spider was crushed, all that’s left is rain

A burst of heated orange light, the stench of
Smoldering wings, the visitor gone in a flash
Mourning has risen with the fall of night
No visible roaring reflection within the glass
Despite eternal stillness he’ll try to help her fight
Now bagged and perhaps thrown in a hole like trash
The colors are dull, the air is flat and empty
It is not at all like they said
A singular plane: two opposing sides, battle aplenty
Whispers, “Look he doesn’t even know that he’s dead.”
Oh but he does, he declined the offer
He’s seeing glimpses of her, the grief and sorrow
“Miss could I trouble you to fill my coffer?”
Somehow out of order, this looks like tomorrow

The scene quiets, this used to feel like home
The rain falls, clamoring on the walls
Here in this hollowness the sound is too much
Her heightened senses prevent true rest
and the memories are loud and torturous
She finds herself aimlessly wandering the wet streets
The soft lights of a towering church
She feels them calling out to her
The doors are old and heavy
She’s frightened by the creaking…
The candle lit sanctuary moves her mind
like entering another world
She recalls that first time with him
and back further to the first spider
She never followed a white rabbit
Perhaps the spiders weave webs with lies
The strands of string are lines of deceit
Whispering aloud: There can’t be such a thing as God.
He wouldn’t allow my love to depart
and leave me high and dry in this raining sorrow.
“Excuse me miss,
perhaps he is testing you with this.
Pain is preparation.
I’m here to listen to your desperation
if you are willing, that is.
Remember it can’t rain every day miss.”
The sincerity in his voice rings true
and she believes his words
but her tongue fails to move in reply
So she runs back through the creaky doors
I’m sorry Father, I just can’t.

The nights grow longer and longer
Her heart barely beating
Its sole purpose torn away
There are no answers for me
No one can help me, the one who could…
He is dead, I thought love was strong
He always said he’d never leave
but he is gone forever
Where are the spiders now?
I need guidance, I need something
ANYTHING
The phone rings and she jumps
“Miss, could you come down to the station?
There is something we must discuss.”
Leaving the hollow home is exactly what she needs
except the walk causes her mind to travel

A chilly autumn night, their hands interlocked
“This is what I wanted to show you darling.
We can make this place our home.”
“It is beautiful but I already have a home.
Wherever you are is my home.”
He brings her in closer as they look at the house,
“You do live inside of me but we need a place
Maybe one day we will have another person with us.”
She knows he means well but she just can’t…
“We’ve talked about this honey.
I don’t know if I am capable,
I don’t know if I want kids.”

He can see but he can’t do a thing
It is a brutal kind of torture
The needle doesn’t meet the string
She’s replaying memories and cursing the future
This must be hell, but why?
He wasn’t evil, he wasn’t unkind
“The worst men believe that they were good guys.”
The winged one has returned, “You’re mine.
You cannot and will not escape me boy.”
He tries regardless, there must be a way
Darling I’m coming, I won’t be their toy!
He feels something awful heading towards her today

They are supposed to be experts
but clearly they are not.
“We are not sure what to make of this,
It’s like his body gave out after years of drug abuse
but there’s no evidence of any drugs in his system.”
HE NEVER DID ANY DRUGS!
It is your job to figure this out
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ALL THIS TIME?
Once again she runs from the conflict
and again she expects to find him waiting
but when she opens the door,
It all comes crashing back
Her tears pound the tarnished floor
The wood floors that he was so passionate about
Once so beautiful, now just another reminder
Everything feels wrong, her right took a left
and all she has are memories to revisit
She can’t help but replay all of them
and she can’t help but fall to the floor
He always said that she was strong
WHERE IS MY STRENGTH NOW?
Baby you were my strength
and you’re gone, you are beyond gone
and I don’t want, I don’t want anything
I just want you here with me
Won’t you come wake me from this nightmare?
At least tell me what to do
I want to hear your voice again

He’s running through the battlefield of clouds and fire
fueled only by the need to realign with her
There is a way and he is determined through his desire
Meanwhile, the visitor chases trying to deter
The horizon is painted with the vision of the precinct
and the conversations that he hears are confusing
He dodges another fireball with only his instincts
Further in the distance, a light is bruising
the dullness that surrounds his every move
As if a brand new sun is beginning to rise
and as he begins to feel weak, he finds his groove
Awakened by a horrible yet familiar sound, her cries
The gap is closing, he is soon to be caught
but a soft shimmer appears before him like a portal
THERE IT IS!  Darling I’m on my way, Death can be fought!
He goes toward the light, leaping over the last hurdle…

She stands as the room begins to shake
A hand upon her shoulder, she turns to find him
“Darling, I never wanted to leave you
and they tried so hard but I fought them all.
Everything I have ever said, I meant it all.
I will always fight for you.”
She jumps into his arms, speechless
and the kiss shared is like their first
All over again
The taste of tragedy and restored love
Separate hearts beating in unison
An everlasting embrace.

Realizer Episode 2: Never Into Forever

An unseen line was there all along
and another line was there to prove it
Their separate voices filled each others ears
and in that surreal moment
He felt for the first time that his pursuit
Was never in vain but in his veins
Their similar but divided urge to end
Brought them together

When the separation of singular nights collided
Something new began
Neither was meant to subdue alone
So together they came to struggle onward
With his help and his love she managed
To kick all the substances
It was so much easier than she ever thought
The addictions and afflictions couldn’t dissolve without withdrawals
He rose to every challenge, her very own warrior
The person she could be was shown to him
Within their very first embrace
Like a road-map the image helped guide his every touch
Her demons were strong and intimidating
but still he took them all on
As if they were all merely cockroaches
She became new within his touch and his love
A lifetime of yesterdays fell aside
Their own romantic rebirth
He gave her everything possible
All the little things she never could have
Properly dreamed of lived in his hands
and he passed them all to her
Together they fought and triumphed over darkness
His love, all that makes up who he is
Was transferred to her
and slowly the sowed seeds sprouted and blossomed
but love wasn’t the only thing growing…

He has to stop and just marvel at it
There’s no pavement before him
but the emotions are speeding by
All that he ever wished for
Everything he ever wanted
Is standing there, right in front of him
She’s akin to a skyscraper
So tall and slender and that way she walks
…he is captivated
and it’s fascinating, her height
Yet she’s been so low for so long
but together they’ve remedied that
His presence is a promise of patience
He’ll never give up on her

The tiny spiders brought them together
and they grew wings, flew into one
They stood opposite for what seemed like a lifetime
and it really was
because this life they have now is brand new
The invisible walls of separation
Have become gravel beneath their feet

There were plenty of possible exits
Every moment that turned to another month
He proved that there was nothing that could make him leave her
Every passing minute added to their mountain
Here at the peak, there’s a chance to relax
To revel in what they’ve made together
but her fears and insecurities remain
Surely an everlasting struggle
Still he tries to rid her of these things
Constantly showing her that he is her shelter
and she is always amazed by his patience
“How can you be so great, so perfect to me?”
His reply, though short, floors her
“because you are everything.”
She takes him and melts around him
Unlike any before, she feels divine
A perfectly passionate paradise
She gives and he gives, back and forth in unison
A natural high far beyond the clouds
If this is what heaven is like
Then why should their lives have to end?
After, there’s no need to exchange words
For they have exchanged something beyond the limits of language
Together they blended and proved their shared love
Something that’s felt deeper than bodies could ever go
At ease, they share smiles and close their eyes

She blinks to find herself in dangerous disaster
Running through familiar shadows
Or are the shadows running through her?
Blinded by a reflecting and refracting shimmer
An unmistakable taste tickles her tongue
She hears the soft clatter of her own footsteps
and the increasingly deafening sound of terror
A deep seeded sense of urgency overcomes her
but she’s weak and succumbs to the torch
Her eyes snap open and she’s within his arms
“Darling, it’s all right.  I am here.
You were only dreaming, just a dream.”
She rolls into him as he wipes the water away
Her heart flutters and switches speeds
She’s sweetly soothed by his vibrating heart

Through him, she found the pulse of life
and she truly loves him, which catches her off guard
She never dreamed it was possible
but she has dreamed something and she can’t shake it
It’s been tarnishing things, she’s slipping downward
This dream has cast a shadow upon what should be
A perfect memory
and she must attempt to illuminate the truth of it

She begins trudging down those familiar streets
In an attempt to fish out the murky details
Replaying memories covered in blood and vomit
She doesn’t feel attached to any of these sights
He helped her kick much more than addictions
The places that once seemed like home
Do not any more, he is her home,
and the chemical cuffs no longer hold her down
His love gave her wings
and yet she’s back here, alone
Her thoughts frighten her to the core
Where is this path leading me?
Why couldn’t I have found the strength to tell him?
and why on earth did I come here alone?
An intricately beautiful spider web catches her eye
Collected rain drops, from the earlier showers,
Are sparkling beneath the somber street lights
Is this all I am?
The same web with a little added shine?

He’s beginning to really worry, she left with a kiss
A little distracted touch with no further explanation
She’s never gone for this long
Where could she have run off to?
Though he has become accustomed to waiting
He thought this was behind her
and this is the only time that the waiting has been difficult
He needs her by his side tonight
There’s this lingering feeling he can’t move away from
and so he cries out to her:
“Darling, it’s time to return to me.”

She looks upward, away from the web,
To see a certain star
Shining ever so brightly
It’s as if it is breathing and beating
She can almost hear words shooting through the open air
and her heart begins pounding and pulsing
Something is trying to tell her:
It is time to return home.

Realizer Episode 1: Subdue or Pursue

Under the cover of darkness
The young and reckless
She falls over
Sober?
No one around to hold her hair
She believes no one wants to care
“Life ain’t fair”
If only she knew
It could all fade, her blue
but he doesn’t know what to do
All she wants is a helping hand
but he doesn’t think he can
Uncertainty, nerves
So he hides within the herd
Waiting for the right words

She feels broken
Always perceived to be joking
“Breathing is more like choking.”
To the rest:
She is seen as a mess
Called a pest
Substance abuse, her way of coping
Dreaming hoping
That there is more
That there is someone who doesn’t see a whore
He is scared to open the door
Doubts he is worthy of being happy
Denies his heart, in fear of being perceived sappy

She gives new meaning to alcoholic
Drinks until she gets sick
After the vomit
She doesn’t take the hint
No need for a mint
Everything about her is beautiful to him
He feels like loving her is a sin
In his eyes, her light is far from dim
He drives himself up a wall
She has it all
She is too busy with the abuse
To notice it’s no use
He dreams of a noose
“There’s not a damn thing to gain
Suffocation is the answer to this pain
There’s a reason they are called dreams
In real life those things aren’t seen.”
His torment consumes
His life, a prison-like room
All he feels is gloom
She wants to leave with a boom
Her thoughts lack any real process
Her fractured mind is a mess
She fears dying without knowing a loving caress
The one nighters make her feel worse
“Is this life a curse?”

Twisting and turning, he awakes
He rises and shakes
The dust, “Hello nightfall”
He walks out to the hall
She’s home with an eight-ball
Locked away from the world
He is heading out for a glimpse of the girl
But she is nowhere to be found
Walking turns to stomping the ground
He sits and orders a bowl of chowder
She’s home preparing the powder
He thinks “What’s the point of hope?
I like the idea of a tightening rope.”
He strolls home and she’s knee deep in dope
She’s outside her mind
He searched but didn’t find
Now he places the chair under the noose
She’s really feeling the blues
Her eye spies a shimmer
He has lost the glimmer
She grips the knife
“I’ve had enough of this life
and all its strife.”
With a deep breath he stands
“This is what fate demands
Well if I believed.”
Upon the chair he feels relieved
But then regret consumes, he never achieved
She gazes at the blade
Ready to let life fade
Her mind turns to coherent thoughts
He is feeling so distraught
Both ready to be taught
Both in desperate need of an outsider
He has tried to fight her
She moves the blade to her wrist as a spider
Shimmies down to her hand
Upon the chair he makes his own demand
But a small creature has another plan
He feels the eight legs upon his face
Without thinking he steps down to resume the chase
She puts knife away
“My life doesn’t end today
Thanks little icky spider for showing me the way.”

She makes herself a promise
He decides to continue and not go through with this
He burns the rope
She flushes the dope
Unaware of the struggle that is ahead
The spider’s high doesn’t last, she returns to wishing she was dead
She tries to change, avoids the usual spots
He doesn’t, love can’t be fought
She tries to kick the drugs
And becomes fascinated with bugs
All he wants is her hugs
His pursuit results in nothing
She is fiending for a fix, doesn’t matter what just something
Exhausted lungs, hoarse throat so she is craving a few pills
He thinks of her and still gets chills
Her, his sight hasn’t seen
and she hasn’t graced his dreams
He feels hollow
Nothing to follow
She has no pills to swallow
She has no one to call so
Her fingers dial a random number
He awakes from a deep slumber
He left the ringer loud
The voice he hears shoots him to the clouds
She asks if he has something to numb her
He asks how did she get his number
They both never believed in destiny
but they both know this was meant to be.

Strangers and Skeletons

A clanging collision, the sound of fallen beauty
She lays battered but smiles when she sees me
Words muffled beneath her plump punctured lips
I reach down and she braces for another hit
A surprised glance, “it’s chasing me, chasing so fast”
Pushing aside the uncertainty, I put on the mask
A feigning care is better than no care
I pick her up and her eyes erupt like a flare
My every action comes to her as shock and awe
She’s not simply a person with physical flaws
Struggling, I withhold all my questions
We continue onward, only one direction
Sanctuary is all she needs tonight
With a little lie, Girl, it’ll be all right.

I wipe away the tears, blood, and smeared mascara
She cowers and looks away, “My…name is…Clara.”
How can someone be so ashamed
To utter their own name?
Cleansed, her true beauty now shines
Something tells me I should make her mine
but I push that thought away as well
I’ve done enough to insure my ticket to hell
Laid down to sleep it all off
An innocent touch, her skin is so soft
How could anyone hurt her like this?
but then I remember of this world’s darkness

Fast asleep, lost in my own mind
The strange truth of dreams to find
Don’t you know what she is?
A shadow’s cryptic quiz
Truthfully, she has earned every wound,
She’s no flower, there’s no way for her to bloom
She frayed and will be fileted under the moon.
What is this dreaming horror?
You are close, whore is her.
I snap myself awake with a new idea
It only matters how I see her
To my surprise she is wide awake
In her eyes, beaming around her I see fate
“Can you take me by my place?”
There’s no way I could deny that face

She tells me to wait outside
After a few moments, doubt flies
I enter cautiously to find her
It’s strange how I long to be beside her
A scratching sound and a familiar voice
It seems I’ve made the right choice
Shadows engulf the room
A figure enters with a boom
and I know now, that dream was definitely real
He’s here to take her but she’s not his to steal
YOU didn’t heed my warning, she DEFINES deception
A love stung boy like you lacks proper perception.
I’m no boy and she’s not yours to take
  The one who hides in the shadows is fake
  How about you show yourself?
Just take a look around on the shelf
Boy, I am everywhere and nowhere
I’m what has made this lady you find so fair.

Suddenly, her tears fall like rain drops
Surrounding me, growing my feelings like hungry crops
His shape changes under the water around
He intends to drag her further down
and I can’t allow it, I won’t surrender
I have more than just befriended her
So fast, so quickly she is my everything
Despite the mysterious passed wings
With a deep breath, I incite a new conflict
If it’s a disease then surely I am sick
I shove him back behind the closed door
but I couldn’t prevent the whispering before
Her guilt slams through like a new intruder
The past has painfully penetrated her

Consoled, we begin anew
Onward unto days lined true
Because it all doesn’t matter to me
The future is all there is to see

The Hands of Time

Two, seemingly connected yet completely apart
Individuality separates but can bring together
Though in some cases, well it’s just not the case

They both felt and hoped it could work
They wished to be one
It all came apart
They were never really together
The difference and the distance
A mountain they could not traverse
He chose to close the book
As much as it hurt him to say goodbye
He took her by the hand
The tears fell like rain from her eyes
As nice as he could be yet it wasn’t enough
and at the same time it was too much
He said: “I can’t be the one to help you find yourself
I’m still finding myself.”
The tears melted into flames
Pure anger in her eyes
She stomped off in a fit of rage
and so began the silence
He did all he could
Gave her everything he had to give
She was trapped behind a locked door
and none of his keys fit the lock

As they turned
The hands turned
Spinning turmoil like a mental virus
How can two come apart if they never really were together?

He was shocked by how he stayed in one piece
Until she decided to speak again
She opened her mouth and led him down a guilt trip
This time he was the silent one
Her anger pulsated through every syllable
Like throbbing flesh penetrated by a dull knife
He remained speechless
As her daggers of immaturity were aimed to cut his flesh
She turned and walked away
He thought of stopping her
but he couldn’t decide if he really wanted her to stay
The words she shot at him
Built a jagged cliff for him to stand upon

Guided by the hands
Guided by the ticks
Two individuals going round and round

The final words she spoke to him
Embodied a threat that she took lightly
Somehow he managed to lift himself and step away from the ledge
With a realization he is set free
She faded from his mind, as much as she could
The heart does not forget

Passing by, time is no cure
Speeding by, time doesn’t stop

He knows…
She doesn’t and faults him
Silence is their king
She tries, in her mind she’s right
The distance illuminates one
and overshadows the other
He makes her cry
Deep inside she knows the truth
but the tools aren’t sharp enough
and that’s where time comes in again
Like a speeding train derailed before destination

He expects…
Part of him is waiting for the day
That the words turn true
but he has turned away
Yet still his mind turns back to her

Everything is controlled by the hands
The two hands of time
More has now passed
Days turned into months
A passing thought, leads him back to her
He follows the path set before him
Only to find her bloodied
Her outsides painted with her insides
His sense of time evaporates
Eyes locked on her knees, bruised
His brain stricken with prior knowledge
Yet he hopes she knelt while praying to her god

She turned away for one final time
and she actually got what she wanted
He is by her side
Ever cynical, he chuckles “she’s still unavailable”
He leans in close and wants to
but he can’t bring himself to touch her
A lonely tear lingers upon her cheek
The final action of her life
Looking in her lifeless eyes,
He wishes he could raise her up
“Isn’t that what got you in trouble before?”
His inner voice is correct
and so a final farewell he whispers:
You didn’t have to.

Both reaching and moving
They meet and touch
but never could they be one
The differences that separate
Subtle but enough to keep them solitary
They are both the right and the wrong
Different speeds, they tick along
Never stopping never-ceasing
Providing the rhythm and the measurement of life
The hands of time