E is for Emotions and A is for Aligned

Will you..
Write me words in the waves
Satisfy all that I can crave
Whisper softly “please behave”
Please hold me so I can’t fade

Emotions rhymes with oceans
We can surf them together
Emotion rhymes with devotion
We can hold no matter the weather
At least that’s the belief inside of me
The one I hold on to, the one I want to see

So please, come dance with me in my dreams
As one, we are together somewhere inbetween
Awake and asleep, or so it seems
Behind my eyes my belief beams
and shines like the aurora of your life
and it’s bright like my heart’s light

We are lighthouses aligned
though most won’t ever… they will never see
They are all too blind
and severely unkind
It feels as if we’re beyond their definitions of reality


Trapped beneath this feeling
Afraid to look up at the ceiling
Sleep won’t come, still I’m reeling
and winding this rope
Here without a hope

This is disorientation
Suffocating creation
Often only audible tastes
A contrast of what exits my face
So many voices heard
So much left deterred
The line is all blurred

An increasingly loud chant:
Pull the trigger! Pull the trigger!
You know you’re a quitter,
So go and pull that trigger!

and I wake to find
That I am so behind
The line is spinning
What is winning?
I’m not safe here or there
I’m no one and nowhere
It’s not about what’s fair
It’s about what makes sense
I have bruises from this fence

Discerning is difficult for me
Learning the truth escapes me
I see many falsehoods around
No wonder reality is rarely found


The colors seem to brighten and fill the voids
Are my senses rising for the first time?
Is this an awakening?
Perhaps it’s just a line of thinking
That a fallen leaf has blown upon
A slave to the seasonal wheel,
Would I change it if I could?

A departed, lifeless love
Belly up, hell is shut
Beneath the crimson hood, a lying secret
Whispering in my ear, I want to pull away
but he takes hold:
“You make such a fuss over where you are,
When you should focus upon
The conflict you find yourself inside.”
Turning, trembling, does the meaning stand gleaming?

Light is dimming
I stand with my back to the sun
No, you can’t make me watch another leave
If you must go then go just don’t
Please don’t make me watch…

Reach inside, shake and shatter the reasons
This seeking creating brain is a blessing
but hell, what a burden

…Were they torn apart after I left?
The events false, a creation, imaginary
but do I actually believe that?
Should I just shove it all aside
because it wasn’t “real life”?
Who am I to define what is real and what is not?
Dreams are my own creation but a different part of me
So I can’t bring myself to define or destroy
If creation paves the way for destruction
Then why is one easier for me than the other?
There’s enough destruction
I am not capable of falling in line
but falling for a lie, that is another story…

Darkness Breeds Weakness

Running through a maze like floor-plan
Who designed this?
Who lives here?
Accompanied by a faceless shadow
Unknown identity
Searching for a truth
Seems just out of reach
Sprinting through the glamorous hallways
Filled with treasures
Walls lined with works of art
Frantically scurrying about
Examining every nook and cranny
What are we looking for?
At this point it’s clearer
A portion of the curtain
Peeled back
A mysterious figure eludes us
He requires a savior
He’s found himself amongst danger
Some unspeakable unimaginable evil
Lurks and gives chase

Details of this world are vivid
While others are trapped
Within a dense fog
Lopsided vision
20/20 and blurry blind
The never ending picturesque halls
Seem to shift
Seem to spin
I can feel his presence
Yet unknown

At last face to face
Clean shaven
His unmistakeable eyes
Glare into mine
Kindred spirits he and I
His eyes tell a story
He is terrified
Trembling in fear
I reach down to raise him
Out from his hiding place

His grasp is weak within mine
Shaking, sweat soaked palms
This cannot be real
The tables have turned
How have I become
The strong one?
Whatever this is
Whoever lurks
I feel the fear
Transferring and consuming me
I have to fight this
I must focus on the strength
That lives within
Not for me
but for the others

He tries to speak
but only dust escapes his mouth
He points
I turn and the other
The shadowy one
Is illuminated then yanked
Into the foggy darkness
I stand in horror
Accompanied with a horrible truth
I could only get to know him
Through his demise
My heart jumps
As I feel a pulling
The weak one
Yanking me away
Down through another creepy hallway
What are we running from?
He cannot speak
So I don’t bother saying it out loud

Behind us I notice
The lights flicker and fade
What ever IT may be
The curiosity is getting to me
He is struggling to keep up
The fog thickens in front of us
I feel something guiding us
I sense light ahead
It’s time to allow our spirits
Guide us
Lead us
To what ever it is
This bright feeling
This lighted feeling
This sense of safety
My mind calms
The whirlwind of questions ceases
A thought enters
but not mine
“I don’t think I can make it”
I look and he nods
Another voice
A sweeter voice
A voice with direction
With guidance
She says:
“You know.
You know what must be done.”

Without a second thought
Without any thought
I stop
Turn and face the black
I think and hope he receives
My transmission
Like I did his:

Press on brother.
You must go on without me
For all you have done for me
I will sacrifice my life
In hopes that you will find freedom
In hopes that you will save more
The way you saved me
If you can hear this
Then know, you may leech
My strength from me
So you may continue
Listen to the light
She will guide you home.

I don’t look back
I hear his footsteps
With more urgency now
It must have worked
I feel it consume me
The fear, his fear
His weakness
My palms feel like ponds
With my last bit of strength
I stand tall
Raise my arms out
Inviting this evil
Inviting my own demise
The darkness before me
Is darker than the insides
Of my eye lids
No flashes of my life
No flashes of mistakes
No need to fade to black
Just continuous black
Over as quick as it began

Before I pass into what’s next
What is after this life
I am shown
His escape
Outside of the dark mansion
Is an open field of opportunity
It’s bright and vibrant
The Sun shines bright
He looks up and his smile glistens
He must know
I am looking down
Finally my ears are graced with his voice
Two words
Two simple words
Echo and vibrate throughout the openness
I gave up my life for him
If what’s next is eternal punishment
That is fine
Because of me
There are others who will be saved
He has my strength
Along with his own
Off in the distance
Beyond the field
I see dark clouds hovering
Over many souls
Through my sacrifice
They can be saved
They WILL be saved

I do not deserve eternal paradise
I do not deserve eternal suffering
I deserve what ever I am sentenced
The glimpse of the world ends
I feel a hand
Before me a shining staircase
With those gates at the top
As I approach they swing open
I will be judged
but I have no regrets
I did the best I could
At every turn
I know HE knows that
Again for me
There is no escape
I ended life
Surrounded by darkness
I begin this new life
Surrounded by light
A blinding light
Accompanied with
A booming yet calming voice
Within the darkness
I held my head high
Within the light
I bow my head
I wished to see the face
Of the darkness
I am not allowed to see the face
Of the light
He silences my voice
Quiets the inner voice
I feel out of control
I am out of control
As I approach
The Almighty